


Lucky

by Swine



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Caboose is sad, Discussion about friendship, M/M, Minor Caboose shenanigans, Sarge isn't really in this story, Sorry Caboose, The two gays are the main characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-07 00:44:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12829662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swine/pseuds/Swine
Summary: Grif always considered himself unlucky. Ever since he was a kid left alone with his sister to take care of, to having to spend time in a hot canyon for years with people he hated with a passion. So when he was guaranteed the gift of being left alone, the gift of a real to god retirement, he thinks luck is finally on his side.He obviously thought wrong.





	Lucky

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place basically during season 15. Please enjoy

Dexter Grif never considered himself lucky. In fact, he believed to be extremely, remarkably, so very unlucky. Along with the things he went through, the same idiots he had to deal with for  _God_  knows how long now, the least he deserved was a break. So once he was given the reward of retirement- a break- he believed that luck was on his side for once.

He believed wrong though.

Instead of an actual break, he was greeted with the same goddamn shenanigans he wanted to get away from. He supposes thats what he gets for getting his hopes up. And now theres this woman who tries to take his time away from him, making him do yet another stupid mission? Attempting to give him an inspirational speech on how "you're such a hero!" so he'll eventually give in and help out the people he hates the most? Nope. He was out. He quit.

Walking away was just so  _satisfying_. Where he was going, he had no clue, but he intended to enjoy his time by himself. Alone for once in his life.

"Desertion is punishable by death!" Wait for it... "...So keep going!" Typical. He didn't look back. Maybe he'd take a nap or something. He's been waiting to do that with no one breathing down his neck for like ten months now anyway. Or maybe he could eat something. He had the entire food rations to himself now after all, since his former teammates are going on some dumb mission he doesn't have to be a part of.

He heard Sarge spout some more nonsense he didn't care enough to listen to, until the entire group was out of earshot. It felt pretty good.

 

A while after he heard the ship take off, he celebrated by taking a nap. And then he ate, and then took a nap again.

"Way to waste time, fatass." Simmons would say. But he didn't. Because he's not there. It was a relief to finally have some time to himself for once in his life. Peace and quiet. Some would say eerily quiet, but definitely not Grif. Nope.

Stretching, he felt the sunbeams through the window hit his skin, the pleasant touch lingering for just a moment. Grif, slowly but surely making his way out of bed, let out a yawn. He was looking forward to a break for a while now, and he was finally able to complete the to-do list with no disruptions. What was on the list? Eat and sleep. Now that he finished, he wondered what he'd do. Maybe he could go bother Simmons or something, like ask him to- wait.

No he couldn't. 

It's almost as if these assholes wont let him relax, even when they're away. Once he got out of bed, he thought of maybe getting food. With a sigh, he made his way to the kitchen, the place he's become all so familiar with. Dumb Sarge. Dumb Tucker. Those guys could be dying for all he cared, and Grif is here safe in his little paradise. Dumb... Simmons.

...He'd maybe miss teasing him sometimes. Thoughts of what everyone could be doing popped in his head. They were probably pretty far away from now. Very very far. And there was no way he could go after them since he wasn't left with a ship. Not that he wanted to obviously! It was just in theory.

Wandering around some more, he figured out that maybe he wasn't hungry.

"Thats a first." Simmons would say. But he didn't. Ugh shut up. Without realizing it, Grif found himself at the beach. He hadn't spent enough time near the ocean lately. No, the sand wasn't as clean as he was used to, he knew he wouldn't have a problem with taking a nap near the water. He felt a small sense of nostalgia as he sat down on the shore. The beaches he grew up with were a hell of a lot better than this, but this could do. Laying down on the sand, he tried to fall asleep. It's been a long half an hour anyway, he could stand for another nap.

...How was Kai doing? Probably well. He thinks she's still at the Gulch, the poor woman. Well she probably had no problem staying in that hellhole, unlike the years of torture he went through. She usually found ways to keep herself busy fairly easily. And now Grif doesn't want to think about what she's doing. Yikes. Getting a bit annoyed with himself, he tried again to go to sleep. With nothing unnecessarily clouding his brain. The waves softly billowed and crashed, the sound matching perfectly to the feeling of sunlight on his body. 

Is Sarge dead yet? He sure hopes so. His paranoia and uncanny ability to wish Grif pain isn't exactly an admirable trait. So thats why Grif could honestly care less if Sarge was being torn apart by space monkeys or something. In fact, the only reason why he'd want to go is to see that happen. But he doesn't want to go. He didn't go, and now he's alone on the beach with his thoughts. Not that this scenario is bad or anything. He'd rather be bored than dead.

He rolled over to the side, ignoring the burning hot sand touching his face. He was supposed to be asleep right now. He had ways of forcing himself sleep, he did it all the time when Sarge was having his dumb little meetings and didn't feel like paying attention. Sleep he asks for, sleep he shall receive.

Is Simmons okay? ...He didn't want to think about that. He fell asleep within a few minutes.

 

* * *

 

"Y'know..." Caboose started, Simmons trying his best to hold back a groan. "I've thought about the ghost thingy a little more."

"Oh." Simmons said. "So you know I'm right now? You can't come back from the dead."

"Nope!" The two of them sat in what looked to be just about the smallest lounge Simmons had ever been in, the others scattered around the ship doing god knows what. He didn't exactly want to find out anyway. Chairs were seated and attached to either side of the walls with an empty space on the floor noticeable enough for Donut to suggest a coffee table to "spice things up a bit". The seats weren't exactly top notch, but it'd have to do as they had quite the trip ahead of them. It was pretty dark as the only light source was a flickering bright light on the ceiling.

The stars did twinkle brightly through the long windows just a bit above the chairs unmoving. Simmons, though hoping for some time to himself, ended up having Caboose follow him around. He's starting to believe that the soldier has imprinted on him somehow, like a baby duck or something.

"It is a thing... called... recrimination... I wouldn't expect you to know it!"

"Recrimination?" Simmons couldn't help but ask. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Well..." Caboose said. "If Church is gone... and then he's born again! He does the recrimination thing... Then he comes back! And then everybody is happy." It took a second to understand what the hell Caboose was talking about. It either took a genius to understand what he was saying, or an idiot.

"...Caboose."

"Yes."

"Do you mean reincarnation?"

"...Yes?" Dear lord.

"Well, reincarnation hasn't been scientifically proven yet." Simmons explained.

"But what if I _want_ it to happen?"

"Even so, it's hard to simply throw a theory out with no evidence show why." Caboose got up from his seat, which Simmons thought was amazing. He had sat still for about five minutes with absolutely no distractions. He'd definitely tell Grif once he gets back.

"I see what the problem is." Caboose said with a hint of determination.

"Uh. You do?" Simmons hadn't noticed a problem at all. Caboose turned to face Simmons, his expression covered by his helmet. He couldn't tell if he was being serious or not, but maybe that was a normal thing nonetheless, even without the factor of a helmet to see how he feels. Simmons normally kept a helmet on for the same reason- that and protection, but it currently sat in the chair next to him instead.

"Yes! You put too much science into things..." He said. "If you take the science out of things, then the things will happen!" Caboose twiddled with his thumbs and nodded, as he probably believed that he came up with the breakthrough of the century. Simmons has a hard time talking to people, but Caboose is on another level. Everyone has a hard time talking to Caboose.

"You can't just do that!" He said. "Science is in everything! It's what makes planets turn, things exist! You can't just take away science!"

"Hmm..." Caboose tilted his head, seemingly lost in thought. It felt like arguing with a second grader honestly. "You may think Church is gone, but I don't. And if I hope some more, he'll come. It happened last time and the time before that."

"Sure, Caboose." Said Simmons.

"You care about Grif, right?" Simmons shifted in his seat as Caboose paced back and forth.

"Hah no! Of course not what makes you... think that." Each word got quieter as he felt his shoulders tense.

"Yeah you do..."

"No I don't."

"Yeah."

"No!"

"Yes." Simmons seriously wasn't doing this today. Not ever actually. "And since you care about him, and he cares about you, then he'll come back. Like Church." Simmons responded with a dry laugh.

"No way he cares about me either! Listen Caboose, we're just teammates. Not friends."

"Hmm..." He said again. Simmons felt uncomfortable, especially with the thought of Grif having any emotion other than apathy and laziness. He didn't think laziness was an emotion, but it definitely had to do with Grif. ...He did sort of miss him in a way. He didn't miss the mess Grif seemed to always make when entering a new room, and having to clean up after him. He also didn't miss arguing with him over everything Grif seemed to do wrong, and he most definitely didn't miss that nonchalant shrug he would always make when Simmons was making a point. Not at all. He's glad to have the walking trash bag gone. Yep. "Okay!"

He had forgotten all about Caboose. Peering down, he finally noticed Caboose. His helmet off to the side, Caboose was laying face first on the empty space on the metal floor. Simmons pinched the bridge of his nose and gave a sigh.

"...What are you doing?"

"Being lazy."

"Why?"

"Well." He sat up to look at Simmons. He brought his knees up to his chest, and though it was dark, his eyes were bright and there was a small smile on his face. Caboose, though his personality definitely didn't match, was very big and could probably be intimidating if not for the big goofy smile he always seemed to have. "Since my best friend isn't here now, and your best friend isn't here now, then we have to be each others friend! Maybe not as cool as my _best_ friend, but still. I have to be lazy, and you have to be yell-y." The stars shone brighter than ever, almost as if to agree with Caboose.

"He's not my...!" Simmons gave up. "You don't have to pretend to be Grif..."

"Oh good..." Caboose said. "Cause I don't think I could stay in one place for as long as him."

"I know, Caboose."

 

* * *

 

Grif never actually saw the movie Cast Away. Always focused on taking care of his sister rather than watching dumb movies. He always thought that it would be hilarious to watch a movie about a crazy guy talking to a volleyball. But now that he was stranded on an island by himself?

It's been about a month. He thinks. Wait has it been a month? It might have been two months. Or three. Or six... Or a year! No it couldn't have been a year. Well it's been a long time. It's been a pretty long time. A very long time to himself. Alone on an island. His little paradise right? Wrong! It sucks! Yet again he's unlucky. So very, extremely, unfathomably, unbelievably, unlucky.

The beach, as usual, was the brightest spot on the island. He learned to like the beach the most, which went against his streak of loving only the bedroom. Not in a sexual way or anything. Queue Tucker joke. Classic.

He grabbed a little bit of tape and held the volleyball perfectly still. He already finished Sarge, Donut, and Lopez. He wouldn't start on Simmons yet though. He was saving Simmons for last. Best for last they always say right?

"Yeah they definitely say that." He assured himself as he just finished taping Caboose's visor to the ball. How long does it take for someone to go crazy? Not that he is crazy or anything. He's just wondering just in case he ever does become crazy, so he can stop himself from being crazy so he can finish making volleyball versions of his old friends. He's very glad he's so on top of things!

See, once the first week had started he was pretty bored. Very bored. And then he thought about how dirty the place is and Simmons would say something like "You really let this place go while we were gone!" And so he cleaned the entire base. Twice. Or three times? Thrice. And then he began to lose track of time, and then he started to get even more bored. And then he was lonely and sad. So he thought about the beach, and then he thought about the island all together. And then he thought about the movie Cast Away and then he thought about volleyballs. And he realized! He has a bunch of volleyballs at base he can use, and he really wanted his friends. Like really really wanted his friends. So here he is making his friends so he wont be lonely anymore!

He astounds himself with his genius.

Anyhow, he was in the middle of making Church when he stared at the ball for a second. The golden tinfoil visor shone in the sunlight, the light blue paint drying quickly.

"...Sorry Church." Grif said quietly. "I should've come, shouldn't I?" He really should've. This wasn't retirement, or at least. It wasn't a very good one. He finished painting Church, and delicately set him down beside Caboose. "Now Caboose has his best friend." He looked at the plain volleyballs for a moment. He knows he said best for last, but he was starting to get a little antsy. He felt like a boy the day before Christmas, and the presents are waiting for him, except the present is Simmons, and Christmas was in the summer. He wanted his friend back.

Had they found Church yet? He hopes so! Maybe when they get Church, they'll come back to the island, and then Grif can apologize, and they'll all be friends again. Maybe... Or maybe they wont come to the island. They'll be known as heroes and they'll get a new island to live in and they'll forget about Grif. 

He thought about the day they left and how angry he was when he walked away. He hadn't even looked back. He didn't say good luck, or even goodbye. Friends should say goodbye, especially when said friends are going to go on a mission that may or may not be deadly. They probably don't think he's their friend anyway. He's not stupid. He'd probably just be dead weight. He stared at the volleyballs some more before grabbing another. He'd work on Simmons now. He's sure he wouldn't mind.

 

* * *

 

"So..." Simmons said.

"So." Grif shrugged.

"So!" Said Caboose.

"Caboose..." Both Simmons and Grif said. Tucker had eventually called Caboose over, and the two red soldiers were left alone. In silence. They were at the beach Grif felt all too familiar with, the sun setting in the distance. How very cliché. Instead of talking, the two of them just stood there. Two losers having no clue what to say. Just standing there. Awkwardly.

"How was retirement?" Asked Simmons.

"Terrible." Grif replied. "How was the uh. Beginning of the mission I guess?"

"Pretty bad."

"Mmm." Silence again. Grif scratched at his head. "Y'know given how much we talk about jack shit, I figured talking would be pretty easy."

"Tell me about it." Simmons groaned. "I spent half the mission baby sitting Caboose. Maybe my energy is just completely depleted."

"Isn't that the blues job?" Grif grinned.

"Uh apparently not? Caboose wouldn't stop following me through the first half of the mission!" Simmons said. "In fact, whenever we'd split off into teams, Tucker would put him with me!"

"And you listened to him?"

"Well he was the leader at the time." Simmons said in a matter of fact tone. "I swear he did it just to get me peeved." Holy shit Grif really did miss this guys voice. 

"Peeved." Grif muttered. Simmons didn't retort. Silence. Jesus Christ.

"Y'know Caboose kept telling me about 'best friend stuff'." Grif saw Simmons peering at the blues, Caboose the quietest out of all of them. It felt unnatural for him to stay so still and so quiet. He _had_ lost a friend after all. "He said since you weren't there, and _his_ best friend wasn't there, he'd be my friend or something like that." Grif mockingly gasped.

"You've _replaced_ me?"

"No! No I wouldn't that's not what I meant!"

"Joke."

"...Right." Grif saw Simmons' face turn about as red as his armor. "But, um. I guess I'm just trying to say. I'm happy you're... here? I'm glad you came back." Grif was silent for a moment, a tint of pink appearing on his cheeks. Simmons looked as if he went through the five stages of grief at once, his anxiety being ridiculously easy to spot.

"Well I mean. I figure as long as parts of you are literally _sewed_ _onto_ my body." Grif shrugged. "It's gonna be preeeetty hard to separate us." Simmons gave him that goddamn look, the look that made Grif's heart skip a beat like a dumb teenager looking at a picture of Justin Timberlake or something. He gave that heartwarming smile that he swears he could stare at for hours. He couldn't help but smile back. His best friend is back, and he has a lot to talk about.

Grif could swear, in this moment. He was so very lucky.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe one day I'll write something that isn't casual, maybe someday I'll write something that doesn't only take a day... But today ain't that day. I literally decide to write and then do it. Okay I guess now it's time to shamelessly advertise. My tumblr is:  
> https://never-been-redder.tumblr.com/  
> Hit me up if you wanna freak out to me, or if you just want to talk!


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